"When she can accept who I am, feel my peace and my pain, understand where I am going and guard my soul as if it was her own, only then will she be my Soul Sista."
--by Teresa Hunt Snipes
Years ago, in 2002, I wrote those exact words to define what I believed a true Soul Sista to be. Clearly, I am not speaking of a biological sister, the girl forced to put up with you in your childhood home. I am not even talking about the girl you’ve known forever, but your relationship stops short of a really good girlfriend. However, I am speaking of the girl who you were destined to cross paths with. The one who can finish your sentences. The girl you consciously chose to be your sister even though she was birthed from a different womb. You’ve never asked, but somehow feel that she wouldn’t hesitate to walk across troubled waters with you. She isn’t jealous and stands with you through what seems to be everything. That’s the girl I am talking about.
The definition of Soul Sista came easy, but many times I doubted that I could or would find that type of friendship. I never wanted to give that title to just anyone. I’d see people claiming best friends with postings of BFFs oh so frequently, like they grew on trees or came a dime a dozen. Each time I saw the title exchanged, I would often wonder if the ladies had a Soul Sista relationship.
One weekend, I headed up to Minneapolis, Minnesota to celebrate 20 years of friendship with two really good girlfriends. You see, it was full circle seemingly that we’d initially met in that very city exactly 20 years ago during an internship at General Mills, Inc. We really bonded during that summer. On the last day of the internship tears fell as we did not know if or when we would see each other again. With thousands of miles between our daily lives, we did managed to talk it up on our 3-way calls and reunite in Chicago, Atlanta, Washington, DC, Hollywood and back to Minneapolis in those 20 short years. Each reunion boldly met us head-on with cities to discover, good and bad life experiences to share, new family members to embrace, shoulders to laugh on and those same shoulders were used to cry on. And we always flipped through that medium-sized, olive green photo album filled with those initial 1997 photos that so aged us as the years went by.
On each girls trip, we willingly peeled off facades and opened up our lives to each another. The conversations were honest and uplifting. The advice was sincere. The support was real and the hugs were genuine. Without ever acknowledging it, each departure back home left us expecting more from each other, inspired one another to dream and encouraged each other to be better human beings. During tough times, we allowed each other to simply BE.
After 5 college degrees, 3 marriages, 5 children, 2 dogs and 20 years of friendship, it hit me like the sun on an early September morning. No literally, on an early September morning in Minneapolis, I walked out on the patio to enjoy a bowl of plain Cheerios (a General Mills cereal; I could not have planned this if I tried.), fresh blueberries and almond milk. Sitting there watching the sun shine down on a small pond, it was at that very moment when I realized what I was looking for had been with me for 20 years, cultivating itself for that very day of full bloom. Withstanding the test of time, it took 20 years for my “Soul Sista” cup to fill and that September weekend it actually overflowed.
Today, I am truly grateful for 2 sisters crossing my path in 1997, who accept me for who I am, feel my peace and my pain, understand where I am going and guard my soul as if it were their own…. exactly like a Soul Sista should.
I am 20 years a Soul Sista.
Teresa H. Snipes, Founder
Watch My Feet Organization
www.watchmyfeet.org
www.facebook.com/watchmyfeetorg
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