Last week I attended Leadercast Women, an annual leadership conference geared toward inspiring women to lead right just where they are. There were women speakers, entrepreneurs, and authors from all walks of life coming together to share the thing that helped them the most in becoming successful. Overwhelmingly, every last one of them kept coming back to one thing. I am not even sure they knew they were saying the same things. In one form or another they said: To lead, you must know who you are.
As young adults, we want to fit in. So, we morph out of who we are and into the people we hang around. As professionals in our careers, we want that next promotion, so we morph out of who we really are and into who we think we should be to get the next promotion. In relationships, we morph into who we think we should be to keep the man of our dreams. Then before we know it, we have children who start the morphing cycle right about middle school age. My words of wisdom today are: At the end of the day, you’ll mature to realize that all this altering to fit the mold means absolutely nothing and it kills the soul you were created to be. It takes away from you living your happiest life.
I love to see middle-aged women began to fiercely take their lives back. They say enough is enough and then they start to walk in authenticity. They claim who they are. They stop caring about what people think. They start embracing who they are. They face the issues of their childhood. And, they start to live their best lives.
No matter where you are in life, you can re-define yourself and know who you are. Today, I want to give you 3 ways you can to do stop the cyclic morphing, know who you are and start to live your best leading life.
1. Define Who You Are. Defining who you are means that you stand for something and won’t fall for anything in life. It gives you a since of purpose and meaning. It means you shake off the labels of your childhood and put on the armor of who you were created to me.
My husband started telling my kids who they were before they could comprehend what it even meant. I believe it was age 3 and 6. They repeated this simple pledge, using my name as an example: I am <Name Here>. I am strong. I am smart. I am handsome/beautiful. I can do all things through God who strengthens me. I will be the best me I can be today. They said this every single morning until it was so embedded in their spirits that they believed it. Now, five years later, when they go through something in life like a tough concept at school we reference how smart we are. When they face bullying, we reference how strong we are as people. When they face racism, we reference how handsome or beautiful we are as humans. After seeing how effective it was, I started saying it each morning as well. Now I start each day reminding myself of just who I am so that I can knock down anyone or anything standing in our way.
2. Build Self-Confidence. In my opinion you can’t teach confidence. These skills have to be developed from within. Trust. No matter how much someone tells you that you are worthy, unless you believe it at your core, it only makes you feel good for that moment. Then, doubt creeps in. Confidence is so important because it keeps you grounded when people tell you that you can’t do it, or you are not good enough. So, how do you gain self-confidence? Simply by setting and achieving goals. Start out small by setting reasonable goals for yourself and/or if you have kids help them set their own goals. Then make a promise to support each other as you work to achieve your goals. Hold each other accountable. Don’t forget to celebrate once you’ve achieved them. Each time you achieve something you boost your confidence by teaching yourself more and more that you can do it, you are worthy, and you are so good enough.
3. Show Leadership. This is a tough one. Being able to lead means you have to be the head and not the tail. What? You mean I have to stand up for something? The answer is yes. Leading teaches you that you don’t have to fit in. That it is ok to be different. To lead you have to face the fears that keep you from standing up and standing out. Listen to my previous post on the Watch My Feet YouTube channel “The Other Side of Fear” for how to go about facing your fears. Once you have faced your fears, then start leading by doing those very things that you were afraid of. For example, if public speaking kept you from leading, then sign up to speak at your church or local community center. Or if you always wanted to start a physical fitness club, reach out to 2 or 3 people who share your interest and start. To help your kids at a young age, find ways for them to lead. For example, have them order their own food at a restaurant, or if older, encourage them to run for a school club president. Or have them try something completely out of their comfort zone. This helps draw out leadership and teaches them to stand up and out.
Remember, we all have the ability to lead just where we are, authentically.
If you like this entry, please remember to leave a comment and click subscribe on the Watch My Feet YouTube Channel so you can receive notification when I drop new posts. Also visit WatchMyFeet.org website to see the latest events or connect with us on Facebook. Until next time… I’ll leave you with definition statement I created a week ago for myself. I am Teresa Hunt Snipes. I was born to inspire and educate women across the world to move in position to live their best lives.
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