When my son started playing basketball, he practiced more at the gym. Out of curiosity, I would ask him how his practices went once he returned home. He responded with answers like "It was ok.", "I think it went well.", or "I don't know." with a shrug of the shoulders. After a while, I started noticing him getting more and more frustrated after practices. With so much time spent at the gym, he didn't feel he was getting better as fast as he wanted to. One day, I was with him and saw the frustration firsthand. His frustration frustrated me. I aggressively ask him in a strong tone "Son, are you winning or losing today?" He didn't know.
In life, as a student, as an athlete, as a worker or entrepreneur, as a husband or wife, and as a parent, many times we don't get the results we want because we are not crystal clear on the goals we are reaching for. Secondly, we don't take the time to line up our actions with the expected goal. Lining them up means that we can see how our actions will inevitably achieve and directly impact the goal at hand.
If my son had taken the time to get clear on exactly what he felt was needed to consider himself accomplished in that practice session, he would of at least had the data to know where he stood. Because he went out there without specific direction or goals, he was just wasting time. Had he created a S.M.A.R.T. goal, he'd known that for him to be better he needed to make 20 consecutive 3-pointers, 15 consecutive left hand lay-ups, 15 consecutive right hand lay-ups and at least be an 85% free throw shooter. At the end of the day, he could have compared his skill level or performance to the S.M.A.R.T goal. Winning doesn't mean you have to set impossible goals, but it does mean you have to have realistic objectives with a plan to attack. Winning life simply means you are better than you were yesterday.
S.M.A.R.T. goals are part of every aspect of life and provide a sense of direction, motivation, and a clear focus. The earlier you and your children know how to set up a SMART goal and start to use it, the better off they will be.
Each goal needs to have the following components:
S-Specific: Well defined, clear and unambiguous
M-Measurable: With specific criteria that measure your progress
A-Attainable: Attainable and not impossible to achieve
R-Realistic: Within reach, realistic, and relevant to your life purpose
T-Time-Based: With a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date
With a S.M.A.R.T. goal, you provide yourself with the necessary information to understand why you are where you are at any given point in the race. Winning depends on how much effort you put in. Failing to give yourself this clarity leaves you running in circles, feeling low, defeated, and wondering why you haven't progressed, or even worse, why you can't win. With a S.M.A.R.T. goal, if you are loosing, then you are more apt to understand why, recover, and go harder next time.
Teach your sons and daughters that in everything they reach for, they should always know where they stand. Now, my son uses this concept to know if he is winning each day. It's not winning or loosing that matters. What matters is knowing if you are winning because NOT knowing means you didn't even have a fighting chance.
TOOL & TIP
Here are some simple examples of how to define a S.M.A.R.T. goal:
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