Simply put, if you don't make a decision, someone else will surely make it for you. Being nonchalant about even small things slowly gives your power away. It dismisses who you are as a person and lowers your voice. If choices could potentially affect you, then take the time to drive those decisions no matter what. From choosing the right crayon color for your artwork in kindergarten to deciding not to jump into a car with ruthless teens, being confident about the decision is what's key. Just because you are not an adult doesn't mean you should be a non-opinionated, disappearing act. RESPECTFULLY get your voice across, so that parents and people can began to understand the person you are becoming.
Parents, when your kids are old enough to use information and gut feelings to make decisions, I say, "Let them do it." Here's why it's important... The sooner your children get comfortable with making decisions, the easier it'll be for them to flow through life as opposed to being paralyzed at every decision point. Decision-making is how leaders and influencers are made. I wish I had known this as a child.
A long time ago my father-in-law said, "If you make an honest decision with the very best information you have at that point in time, then there should be no regrets regardless of the outcome." If you make the wrong decision, it's okay. Just learn and grow from it.
Allowing your little ones the freedom to decide does 3 things:
#1. It encourages him or her to use you as a resource for information and guidance. If they make the wrong decision, then they can self-correct with you right by their side. Better now than in college, right?! Further, it can establish a long-term habit into their adult lives, when they really need you the most.
#2. Making decisions don't end once the decision is made. You can potentially see outcomes of decisions years down the road. Therefore, how your youngster handles the good or bad outcome is the most important part of the process. The full decision-making process is the best way to learn to manage disappointment (not failure), stress, and rejection. Most importantly, it teaches them to own up to the choices they've made. Helping your kids understand the connection with decisions they've made, and how it may affect them or others down the line, ensures they attempt to make good decisions every time. This alone is worth the whole lesson.
#3. Decisiveness builds confidence with all children, especially when the decisions they've made turn out to be beneficial for them. These are wins and some can very well be celebrated. Each win makes you better, and if handled appropriately, each loss can help prepare you for the next win.
Having a creative mind to make decisions is a gift from the most High God. We are the only species on earth that can do this, so take it seriously. Making decisions is a skill set that you will need every single day of your life. Efficiently and effectively decision-making call out the leaders in us. The outcomes of the decision-making process can also remove the bubble that parents use to protect their offspring, in turn, preparing them for real life. Therefore, teaching your kids how to make good decisions is probably going to be the best decision you've ever made.
Tool & Tip
When your child responds to most questions with "I don't know" more than you'd care to admit, completely stop what you are doing and encourage him or her to revisit the question which prompted that response. Most times, you'll learn that he or she really does know. Doing this gives your child a platform to reach deeper to share thoughts and feelings, which makes him or her feel important and heard.
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